We live in a world of increasing complexity with a global population nearing 7 billion people. I would like to think that the many electronic "gadgets" that most individuals and families now possess is partly responsible for the fast pace in which we now live. I find it ironic as we all thought that computers would assist us in our daily duties and free up more leisure time, when in fact, they have done the opposite. Many young people, including children, are entrenched in X-box, texting, chatting, tweeting, etc., all requiring skill yet negating the most basic of human skills, namely conversation, personal contact, ettiquette, etc. I am not saying that all electronic equipment is bad, as I love my I Touch, cell phone, camera, as much as the next person, I am just saying that their usage has teetered out of balance. The resultant behavior of many people caught up in the usage of "technology" especially when surrounded by others in the constraints of a store, a car, etc., can many times be hurt feelings. I have seen many people wandering around grocery stores on their cell phones, quite oblivious to anyone around them. The clincher is when they go to check out and continue talking. This irks me to no end as I am sure it does to the cashier and other shoppers. My point is that our world is currently very rude and insensitive in general and this behavior has been exacerbated by technology. This is why I believe that it is more important in current times than ever in our history as a human race, to develop the skill of forgiveness. We have two options when presented with the daily barrage of rude insults: ruminate over the injustice of it all, or forgive the offender. You may be asking, why should I forgive the schmuck who cut me off in traffic rather than wish him ill will? I would say, because forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than it does the forgiven. Forgiveness is not just some vague concept taught to us in sunday school or church. It is a very necessary skill if we are to maintain our health. Forgiveness can be a difficult skill to develop due to many factors such as: belief that forgiving a person/event actually condones what happened, feeling that the person/event does not deserve forgiveness, and that by forgiving the person/event, it will cause the event to fade into oblivion. I believe it is in fact a way for the forgiver to reframe the event and to indeed remember the event while not attaching any feeling to it. The health benefits for the forgiver are myriad including: benefitting the heart by lowering heart rate and blood pressure, reduction in negative affect in the areas of physical symptoms, medication usage, sleep quality, energy levels, etc., thereby strenghening one's faith/spirituality, stress relief and conflict management skills. In summary, studies have shown that forgiveness restores one's positive thoughts towards the forgiven. These positive thoughts are utilized outside the relationship contributing to a general sense of altruistic behavior of the forgiver towards others manifesting in such behavior as: volunteering more frequently, donating to charity, etc.
In closing, I will leave you with one simplistic exercise to perform daily for a month which will enable you to practice your forgiveness skills. It was given to me by a dear friend and I have just started practicing it myself as I need to forgive a close family member. Repeat each line three times daily for 30 days:
If there is anyone or anything that I have hurt in the past,
either knowlingly or unknowlingly,
I forgive and release it.
If there is anyone or anything that
has hurt me in the past,
either knowlingly or unknowlingly,
I forgive and release it.
If I have hurt myself in the past,
either knowlingly or unknowlingly,
I forgive and releast it.
Namaste
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